Accept The Chaos...
Author Alisha Prien
Sometimes I wonder if the chaos will ever end. If we will ever get ahead in life. often it feels like to much is happening at once…💥💥💥
How many times have we all had those moments. The hospital trips, 5 Therapy sessions, Doctors appointments, emails, phone calls, kid's sports, school drop offs, the never-ending mum guilt and constant worry if you’re doing enough. Everyone keeps saying you just got to find the Balance, well I say, “Screw the balance!”.😬 I’ve come to accept that when you have a child with a disability there is no such thing as balance. You either end up with a week full of appointments which means a week of less attention to the older kids, or a week where you're on top with the children, the sports and housework, but slack in the areas of therapy, appointments, phone calls and emails.
The funniest thing is, I’m constantly getting asked “how do you manage?”… simple, I just do.
This phase is not new to me, this whole cycle is normal, or my new normal since the day my son was born. This isn’t a feel sorry for me moment, this is just a wholly crap overwhelmed, but I'll get over it moment, and let me tell you those moments continue to come up the more my son ages (at the moment he’s 4). So, I guess you’re all wondering well, how do you cope? how do you not fall into that deep dark pit of depression and self-wallow?. My secret… Acceptance and Gratitude💫. This is going to be my life for a very long time, something I accepted a long time ago. This doesn’t mean its not hard, there will be times I still cry, wonder “WHY ME” or “WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!”- Totally normal by the way, these are things I’ve thought many times, especially the times when My boy is ill or in hospital.
The key to acceptance is to first feel, feel the hard times, cry if you need to, yell, scream and then realize “yes it is out of your control…” and “yes, this is your life now” its okay, just think of all the delicious free hospital food you get (just kidding its gross, but hey its free, could be worse). Think of the smiles, and the joy our special kids bring to all those around us, a reminder to be grateful for what we do have. Think of how awesome and empathetic the other children will grow up to be. Imagine the resilience our family and us as parents gain during those hard times, and let me tell you from what I’ve seen of the current generations' resilience is rare…💞
At the end of the day who is really suffering is it the kids, partner, and our Disabled children, or is it just us creating our own suffering by constantly thinking about the what ifs, the whys, and the mum guilt. The kids are okay, the housework will eventually get done, the hospital is the best place for when our kids are unwell, and they are being taken care of to the best of everyone's ability. As my partner once said “Spencer knows no different” (my disabled son). I hate to admit it but he’s right. This is my sons normal, it is the other kids normal, and it is my normal. 💖
