THE HONEST FRIEND***
By Author- Alisha Prien
Last week and this week have been insane!!!
One thing after another went wrong…
Between dealing with appointments for Spencer, which took up most of my week, to emails from my daughter’s teacher on some behaviour issues, to Centrelink screwing us, and then having to juggle work due to employees being away… some might say a mental breakdown was ahead… and yes, yes it was. It’s always the way, there is never just one thing, it comes in clusters. Lately it feels like the more I choose the authentic and honest way of living, the more I get screwed by others.
Spencer’s wheelchair appointment last week was an absolute nightmare… What should have been a great and positive situation, quickly became a stressful and negative experience. This was all due to one particular person who felt they were the better of the therapists and would cause chaos amongst the others. This of course impacted my experience and my sons. Its times like this where you have to make tough decisions in life. Decisions on whether keeping someone around is truly worth it or not. This is one of those times. I hate having hard conversations, and this is going to be one of those. I am at a point in life where, I value my time, money and family, which will always take priority over the drama and stress of others. It is due to this type of mentality that I will have to let this person go. The negativity is not welcome.
The more I practice having hard conversations the easier it gets. The easier it gets to let go of people who no longer serve, and who no longer bring purpose to mine or my family’s life.
Recently I had another hard conversation, this time with a close friend of mine. I told this friend the truth regarding a situation she is in. How I couldn’t continue to sit by in silence anymore. I have watched her cry many times over this situation, and loose herself to this person. I lost this friendship the minute I was honest… Do I regret what I said? NO. I decided to be upfront and honest instead of talking behind her back to others about the situation. I did it not out of malice or jealously, but out of love and authenticity.
I understand the space she is in right now. I was once there. Maybe one day we will reconnect but for now I will let go and continue to grow and move forward. I still care deeply for this friend. I realise now some people are not ready to hear the truth. The more honest and truer you become, the more you hold a mirror to those who are not yet ready to leave the fantasy and highlight reels they have created for themselves. Perhaps this awakening in me has developed due to all the bulls**** I have had to endure in my life, or maybe having a son with a disability has just made me appreciate so much more. Either way, the more honest I become, the more at peace I feel, and the more I step away from the once people pleasing, co-dependant version of my old self.
No matter what, things always work out the way they are supposed to go… (quote said by my 11-year-old son) Wise beyond his years… Whilst this phase of life may feel lonely, there is now room for more authentic and honest people to enter my life. Interestingly as this insane storm of a week comes to an end, some light has begun to shine. Let’s end this on a positive!!! My stepson just got accepted into the school of his dreams (very proud of you), our new spacious Van arrived (soooo much more room to fit the kids, Spencer and his wheelchair in), and it’s not long till the surgery to fix my health. As my son said above “Things work out the way they are supposed to go…” <3